Heeeeeeee-eeeey, don't I know you from somewhere?

Yeah, I know...it's been a long time. I tell myself all the time, "Dude, self, you need to get back to blogging. Maybe once those fingers get moving on the keyboard you might remember what you have to say." And then one of the kids bellows, or a customer wants to yell at me because it's my fault that she can't afford her medication, or my weary husband needs some attention....yeah, what's a blog?

So there really has been a lot going on. Both of the girls recently participated in the science fair at school, and both did great. Beth got an A for her project on what happens to cornstarch peanuts in water/vinegar/acetone. And Catey took first prize for the fourth grade for her project on which environment a salt garden would grow best in. I'm so stinkin' proud of them, and yeah, a bit smug because I TOLD THEM that they could do great once they applied themselves. Bethany's grades have improved exponentially, and I'm thrilled. Catey's have actually dropped, but it's because the twerp doesn't turn in her work. It seems like I ask her daily what the point of doing her homework is if she's not going to turn it in and GET THE CREDIT. She'll get my point, someday, right? RIGHT? *scared that she'll turn out just like me*

Matt keeps busy in his rockin' cool kindergartener-ness. His teacher made me tear up a little bit at his conference a while back. She said that he's the sweetest, most tender hearted boy in the class, and is always going out of the way to help the kids that have disabilities. The other kids had started off ostracising the two little boys, but Matthew took them under his wing and NOBODY dares pick on the boys now. When they try, Matt tells them that they have to be nice to HIS friends. *pride* He spends every waking moment that he can with his best buddy, Ryan, who lives next door. I swear, sometimes it seems like he eats more meals over at Ryan's house than he does here. Meh, at least he's eating, right? (I should probably pitch in on Trish's grocery bill, though!)

Brian is pushin' on at work. He's the head of Wing Training, and makes sure that all the airmen go through their required courses to keep up on...AirForcey stuff. It's not his dream job, but he's working toward that. Hopefully he'll be able to go to one of the courses that's required for him to be able to DO his dream job, in February. If he does he'll be gone the entire four weeks. It'll suck being without him, but he'll be taking that next step to be able to do what he really wants. Seeing that pride in himself and satisfaction in what he's doing will be worth it. He's also been doing the Mr. Mom thing quite a bit, since I'm on such an insane schedule at work. On the nights when I have to work late he's the one making sure they eat, making sure homework is done, trying to prevent fights, coralling toward bed, answering the incessant..."Daddy, I want you!" Yeah, he loves it.

As for what's going on with me...I was promoted to team lead back in April, and since then I work a rotating schedule each week. First week is 7-4, next is 8-5, all the way to 1-10. The late shift SUCKS, thankfully, one of the other leads hates coming in early so we trade quite frequently. Especially lately. Starting next week, though, I'll be supervising a team of contracted employees. (Nice speak for TEMPS.) This will be my first time supervising a team, so it's great for my resume. I'm not worried, since it's pretty much everything that I'm doing right now, it's just people that don't know me. And in all reality, it's probably easier with people that don't know me as opposed to the people on my team right now that went through training with me. It was unnerving at first, going from peer to leader and staying on the same team. I'll be supervising this contract employee team for their full time with the company, and once they leave at the end of January I'll likely be leaving as well.

This was a really hard decision to come to. I absolutely love my job, and was really looking forward to applying for the supervisor position that's coming open. However, what with the issues of Catey not turning in her work, Beth thinking that it's OK to float through life like a dumb blonde, and Matt's whining...it's time for me to be back at home. They're adding a 2-11 schedule at the end of December as well, and the new supervisor is going to be required to work that shift for the first 6 months. That's just not feasable for our family. Brian has also essentially put his career on hold so I could work. The few times he's gone anywhere has only been for a short period, and we've had to ask friends and neighbors to help with the kid roundups when I couldn't make it home from work in time. Now that my sister has moved away I have even less support, and don't want to take atvantage of neighbors. So since Brian is going to a new training course for February and I need to go back to WA for a visit in March, January 31 seems like the perfect "quit date." A few people at work know already, but I'm keeping it on the quietish side. I still want to do this contract employee supervisor thing, and I know I'll do well. I don't want to give my manager a reason to think that I'd give it anything less than 100%. (And I'm REALLY not looking forward to telling her about it.)

So what do I plan on doing with myself once I quit? Matt will be back at home with me in the mornings, since he'll no longer be in daycare, so we'll do the general housework & laundry, and go on mom & boy dates before school. While he & the girls are in school I'm going to start working on my photography again. My hope is to do "living portraiture" and stock photography. I'm setting up some shoots with some co-workers so I can use their photos in my portfolio. This summer we'll hit the museums & library, have campouts in the backyard and do the things that we really missed this past summer. As much as I love my job and I know I'll miss it, I'm really looking forward to being a stay-at-home mom who's never home again.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand...now you're pretty much all caught up. One of my goals is to get back to blogging, at least once a week. Most of the time it feels like I have nothing to say, but the words pour out anyway. I don't even know if anybody reads this blog anymore, but it really isn't the point. I need to get that part of myself out again. I was seeing a therapist for a while but it seemed like everything she & I talked about is something I've blogged about in the past. Might as well just put it "on paper."

Anyway...I need wine. And I think there's part of a bottle of Cranberry Bog left over from Thanksgiving that's calling my name. YAY WINE!!!

I love books.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, the public library is great in theory, but I never have time to get down there. Besides, I always end up having an anxiety attack in the library. The same for big bookstores. I can't do it. It's too cluttered. (As I guiltily glance at the clutter here on my desk. Apparently my own clutter isn't as bad as public clutter.)

Anyway, I haven't indulged my love of books recently, so I went on a mini-spree on Amazon today. Somehow I managed to keep it under $100, yay me!!!

So here's my reading for the summer, to be read in the order I receive them...



OK, so I ordered Breaking Dawn a while ago, but it's not due for release until August. One of the girls at work got me hooked on the series though, and since I don't get to look forward to any more Harry Potter books, this was a great substitute. It's about a girl that moves to Washington (*sigh, I miss those trees!*) to live with her dad. She meets an unusual family, and falls in love with one of the boys. Come to find out, he's not quite human. Adventures ensue, and now we're waiting on book four, the last one. Stephanie Meyer is an incredible writer, and has a knack of drawing you into the story so you feel like you're really in the forest.


It seems like the plot will be more of the same old feel good chick movie, but the reviews were great. The lead character wakes up one day and only remembers her past, not what's going on in her life now. It's been done so many times before, and so many of those attempts were worn out and trite, but hopefully this journey on the same path will be different. HOPEFULLY.


I read Baby Proof from Emily Griffin, and it was cute. Not too deep, but a different take on the eternal conundrum of the working woman, whether or not she really wants kids, and what she's willing to give up to stick to her guns. I like books that come from a vastly different point of view, even if they are a bit shallowly written. This one is taking the view of looking back on what could have been. Who out of all of us has never wondered what would have happened if we had stayed with that one person?



I loved The Devil Wears Prada. I was a vicarious New Yorker when I read it. That was enough to get me to read Chasing Harry Winston.

Such a Pretty Fat: One Narcissist's Quest To Discover if Her Life Makes Her Ass LookBig, Or Why Pie is Not The Answer

Seriously, with such a fabulous title, why WOULDN'T a pretty, fat, narcissistic chick want to read it? Besides, the note that she's got on Amazon just speaks to me.

"To whom the fat rolls…I'm tired of books where a self-loathing heroine is teased to the point where she starves herself skinny in hopes of a fabulous new life. And I hate the message that women can't possibly be happy until we all fit into our skinny jeans. I don't find these stories uplifting; they make me want to hug these women and take them out for fizzy champagne drinks and cheesecake and explain to them that until they figure out their insides, their outsides don't matter. Unfortunately, being overweight isn't simply a societal issue that can be fixed with a dose healthy of positive self-esteem. It’s a health matter, and here on the eve of my fortieth year, I've learned I have to make changes so I don't, you know, die. Because what good if finally being able to afford a pedicure if I lose a foot to adult onset diabetes?"

I soooooooo can't wait to read this book!!!



Gossip of the Starlings is going to be my serious read for the summer. It's getting great reviews, and it hits in an area that's coming up in my life. Teenagers, drugs, peers...the joys I get to look forward to now that I have a pre-teen.



I try not to judge books by their covers, but I'll absolutely pick one up for a great title. (As evidenced above!) So when I saw the title on this one, I had to get it. Besides, Chelsea Handler has left me in fits of giggles before, I love her. I love what one of my other favorite writers has to say about Chelsea, "Chelsea Handler writes like Judy Blume, if Judy Blume were into vodka, Ecstasy, and sleeping with midgets and nineteen-year-olds." It's just so wrong in all the right ways!!!





I can't wait to come home and check the mail over the next few weeks!!!!

For James

I found all of these on one day out & about when we lived in Okinawa. I wish I had had my camera with me the other times I found butt-vacuums, I don't think any two are the same!



"The cigarette butts are always more noticeable when I'm walking my dog."


"Inhaled. Burned. Thrown away. If it were anything but a cigarette, it would surely be crying."


"Smoke is billowing from a stand ashtray. If it were my home, I wouldn't be so calm."


"My cigarette always points toward others, never toward myself."

I wonder if there's a deeper meaning here...

We were adopted by another cat this weekend, raising our familial feline count to the nice round number of THREE.

On Saturday I was on my way home from work, talking to Brian on my cell phone, and as he walked to the front door he said, "Hey, there's a dead cat on our porch! No....um....wait, it's resurrected, nevermind." The poor cat was just grabbing a nap wherever it could. He stepped outside and the cat started winding it's way around Brian's legs. Animal lover that Brian is, he gave the cat some food and said to the cat, "I shall call you SKELETOR!"

I got home a few minutes later and found the cat laying under the neighbor's truck. I sat down to check Skeletor out, and we visited for a few minutes. I got up to walk away, and the cat has been following me like the PuppyCat he really is ever since.

This cat is seriously the saddest, most pathetic animal I've ever come across while it was still alive. he had to have been loved in his life, because he's great with everybody. He even lets Matt dance with him. He's not afraid of dogs at all, and only hisses and backs away from my other cats, which tells me that they'll all warm up to each other in no time. But SO SKINNY. We could count the ribs, and see the vertebra poking out of his back, and his hipbones jutting out. It's just heartbreaking that somebody could love an animal like that and just abandon it, helpless.

As we were getting to know each other I gave the cat a good checkover to see if there were any injuries that needed immediate attention, and I realized, "wow, Skelator is a girl." Now, as cool a name as Skeletor is for a cat, it's just not a name for a GIRL cat. So I started thinking about what kind of name would suit this sweet little girl that was purring her way into our hearts. She's just so freakin' SKINNY. Sack of Bones just doesn't suit her, though. She looks anorexic. Hm...Annie-rexic. That's just kinda funny..."I shall call you ANNIE!" And Annie she is..

Now here's where the deeper meaning comes in...

Our boy cats are named after food. Queso and Carne. In essence, my boys are Cheese and Meat. Caitlin says that if you put them together you have a Cheeseburger.

I have just named my new cat after an eating disorder.


Um...Yeah...

And I'm overweight.



Dude, we've got issues.

Because there can never be too many pictures of my monkeys...

DANG, I make cute kids...




Ever the princess, charming for the camera.


I can't get her to take a serious picture. Ever.


My not so little monkey boy...

My first baby is 10 today!

I can't believe she's 10 already. Where is the baby that was all cuddled up in my arms, sound asleep and smiling, just a few days ago? She's a...a....





TWEEN!!!! Now is when the fun really starts, isn't it?





And in other Bethany news, last week when she was baking cupcakes she came outside to tell me that they were ready to go in the oven, and the wind caught the front door as she was coming out and slammed her finger. A lot of blood, screaming, and six stitches later...




The entire nail had to be removed, and the entire fingertip, from halfway between the top knuckle and the cuticle all the way up is just shattered. The doctor put the nail back on to stabilize the healing, but it will fall off when the stitches come off next week.




She's doing really well now, and only takes the Lortab Elixir at night, and gets herself some ibuprofen if it starts hurting during the day. She doesn't want to be taking a lot of medicine, she says, so she only takes it when it REALLY hurts.

Um...OW....

A dream came true this past Friday, May 25. We could call it a day late anniversary gift, if it didn't cause so much freakin' pain.


I had a breast reduction.

I have always been well loaded in the front, since jr. high. Kids and gaining weight didn't help the matter. I have gone from a 44 J to a 44 C (theoretically, still waiting for them to get to the right size & shape). I will now be able to exercise without excruciating back pain, and will finally be able to lose all this weight.

But right now, all I can think through my Lortab haze is




OW.

TWELVE EYES!!!

All three of my monkeys have glasses now. And it only improves on their cuteness!! Now if I can just teach them to STOP squishing their glasses up on the lenses we'll be set.




Oh, and I cut Catey's hair all by myself. I'm getting my hands on Bethany's mop tomorrow.

Catey rockin' her new glasses!!

I love these on her, they SOOOOO fit her personality!!!


And I'll give you TWO guesses as to who else is getting glasses. Geez, we've dropped a pretty penny on eye care this week.

Help name our new cat!

His current name is Poopycat, thanks to his previous owners. I'm not too fond of the name. He's a huge tuxedo cat, probably close to 15 lbs. We brought him home this afternoon and he's still hiding under my bed. Hopefully he'll relax enough to come out soon!


Names up for contention are currently:
Frank Sinatra
James Bond
Pussy Galore (for a boy?)
Armani
Giorgio
Moondoggie (Moonkitty?) since we already have a Gidget


Any more suggestions?

I can't wait fo rJune 7th!!!

Since the girls and Kerrie were all born in June I'm taking them to see Wicked for their birthdays. It's the day after Catey & Kerrie's birthdays. They have no idea, only Kerrie knows that she needs to take that day off.

I got our tickets in the mail, and they're tucked away safely. I had planned on getting balcony seats, MUCH cheaper, but the only seats left in any of the shows were orchestra seats. The only seats left together were the ones I got for our show. I am GIDDY with excitement! Orchestra seating, row H, seats 107-110, RIGHT SMACK IN THE MIDDLE. And since it's a 1:30 show, we'll have plenty of time for the girls to hopefully be able to meet the cast, and we'll head out for dinner afterward. They're probably going to know every single song, we listen to the soundtrack in the van all.the.time. ;)

I thought about taking Matthew as well, but I don't think he'd enjoy it as much as the girls will. I'll have a friend watch him that day and he'll have fun playing with her little girl.
I CAN'T WAIT!!!!!

April 19, 1995, 9:02 AM

Oklahoma City was changed forever.

I can see the downtown skyline from my neighborhood. As I was outside with Matt this afternoon I looked out over the skyline and pictured the smoke rising in the clear blue sky. It was chilling, to say the least. My heart aches for the families who were robbed of their loved ones. 168 people died that day, 19 were children.

The Oklahoma City National Memorial

Bethany's turn

I need to figure out how to do the color without messing with pixelation. Her eyes look kind of grainy to me. I still love it, though.

I've been playing

This is the photo we used to model Catey's new teeth. I played with it this evening and I love how it turned out.

Bricks are not for eating.

So we spent a lovely 6+ hours in not one, but TWO ER's on Easter Sunday.

My friend Shannon & her daughter had arrived at our house and all four kids were roughhousing in the living room. They got too close to the fireplace and next thing I hear "THWAP!" (yep, just like that) and Caitlin started screaming.

I ran to her and saw that she was holding her mouth. With blood pouring from between her fingers.

Brian got her into the bathroom and spitting blood into the sink, and I glimpsed her teeth in the mirror. My poor baby's front teeth were broken.

So Shannon stayed with the kids and the roasting turkey, and off we went to the nearest ER. Brian sat in the back with Catey and I managed to drive without speeding.

Got to the first ER and by then the bleeding had stopped. They checked to be sure she didn't need any stitches (punctured her lip, thankfully, not a big cut) and gave her some Motrin for the pain, and sent us up to Children's Hospital where there's an on-call dentist. Trip to the first ER, just over an hour and a half.

We had been told that they'd have the on-call dentist there & waiting for us when we got there. Riiiiiiiiiiiiight. Nothing is ever that easy when it comes to ER's. We had to do the whole check-in/triage thing, and they sent in a regular pediatrician. FINALLY, they CALL the dentist, who must live over an hour away. After waiting for two hours she finally arrived. I swear she was about 16 years old.

She did a lot of tapping & poking to make sure no other teeth were damaged, then finally put some white composite filling on the two teeth that were broken. The third tooth that was damaged was only knocked looser and was a baby tooth, so we're just going to let that one fall out.

We went to a follow-up dentist on Monday, and they did x-rays. The two teeth that were broken were permanent teeth, so we were pretty concerned. PRAISE GOD!!! There's no additional damage to the roots of her teeth, and the roots are still forming so they should keep on keeping on. YAY!!! Just because my child was BORN in Oklahoma doesn't mean she needs to look like a gap-toothed Oklahoman. She'll still need braces later on down the line, but we knew that before all of this happened.

We were so blessed and lucky in ALL of this. Her permanent teeth were only half grown in. If they had been completely grown in it's likely that they would have been broken all the way up into the gums. The baby tooth was already loose, so there shouldn't be any damage to the permanent tooth that's forming behind it.

The part that I had (and still have nightmares about) the hardest time with is the "couldabeens" in the whole situation. If she had hit her head instead of her teeth she could have cracked her skull, or worse. If she had hit her chin and forced her head back she could have broken her neck. If she had been just a few inches over to the left and hit her eye she could have been blinded. Teeth are easily fixable. Her life is irreplaceable. It was so hard to NOT lose it in front of her when the reality of what COULD have happened hit me.

Needless to say, at bedtime that night I brought the girls into the living room and sat them down by the hearth to make it clear what COULD have happened (hopefully without scaring them TOO much) and try to get through to them, yet again, why it's so dangerous to play rough right next to the fireplace. Hopefully it worked.








The hearth where she whacked herself. You can see how close she was to the corner.
Those white spots aren't just part of the brick. It's pulverized tooth.

The left was completely a powder, not even a grit. The right was a chip. The rest of the pulverized teeth ended up in the sink.

All warm & fuzzy!

If this doesn't make you all gooey and lovey then there's something wrong with you. You must have a heart of stiblah.

Parenting is the most heartbreaking job on earth.

Catey is my more emotional child out of the three. This morning, about 10 minutes after all the kids left for school she came running back in the house just SOBBING. It took me a few minutes and a lot of questioning, but I finally got her to tell me what was wrong.

I was worried that the big girls were picking on her the way to school. No. She misses her grandpa & great-grandma. She's re-written the events of the weekend in her mind and has fabricated this story that grandpa did all sorts of great things with her over the weekend. (Far from it, the lazy ass. He hardly spoke to the kids.) Her great grandma helped her with her chores, so she did get a kick out of that. But she's also decided that they left in the middle of the night without saying goodbye to her. UM, NO. They DROVE her to school on Monday morning and dropped her off.

So I got her settled down and drove her to school, and got a phone call from the school secretary half an hour later saying that Catey was in there just sobbing and she wanted to talk to me. It was the grandparents thing again. So I told her I'd come to the school and give her a big hug, but it was her job to go to school and learn and I needed her to do that.

Got to the school and she wasn't crying anymore, until I started talking to her while I was hugging on her. Then she started in on the whole missing grandma & grandpa thing again. Got her settled down again & walked her to class, & she was hanging onto my arm for dear life all the way down to her class.

I went in to talk to her teacher and Amy (the teacher) said that Catey's not been acting like herself for a week to a week and a half now. She told me some of the things she's been doing and the stories that Catey has fabricated. I explained to her the situation of the weekend, and that Catey's grandparents have split up but that they don't want us talking to the kids about it (yeah, that's out the door, we're having a big talk tonight). I also told her that Brian is deploying soon for several months and that he recently told Catey about it. *ding*ding*ding* Her acting up started when he told her that he's deploying.

I'm sitting here crying because my heart is hurting so badly for her. She's afraid that Brian is going to leave without saying goodbye and not ever come back. She doesn't know how to deal with that so she's projecting it onto her grandparents.

Amy said that she'd have lunch with Caitlin once a week from now until the end of the school year, just to give her some special one on one time. And I'm going to have Brian do some special one on one things with the kids, too. I'm going to find a Build a Bear workshop so they can go make a special Daddy animal that they can love on when they're missing him. I'm already planning lots of stuff to keep us busy through the summer, and I believe Cindy is planning on coming down sometime this summer as well.

Good lord this is killing me. Why does parenthood have to break your heart so much?

And this, my friends, is why Alanis is a genius.

I took these last week and played with b/w yesterday. I'm getting them printed out in 8x10, matted & framed for the living room.

Some good friends have been encouraging me to take my photography to some shows. I think I'm going to look into it. I'd love to be able to do this as a supplemental income.

Sometime this week or next I'm going to be doing maternity photos of another friend. I told her I'd do it for free as long as I get to use her images in a portfolio.

And hey, any excuse to get the new Photoshop! :D

Why I am up at 2:52AM when I have to be up at 6

When we went to bed last night Brian kept hopping out of bed, swearing that it sounded like somebody was trying to break into the house. I pointed out that 1) the dryer was running and 2) the house alarm was ON so if somebody were to actually break in we'd definitely know about it so he finally relaxed enough and went to sleep.

But since he opened his big mouth I kept hearing things. At 2 I heard one of the dogs crying so I got up to let her out. The cat slipped out with her, so I had to go chase him all over the back yard. Did I mention it rained a LOT yesterday, and I was in bare feet? Niiiiiice. Came back in and realized that Gidget wasn't in her normal sleeping place. So I hunted all over the house for her. No dog.

Looked in the garage. No dog.

But I heard her crying, and realized that it was HER crying that woke me up.

The dork had gotten closed into the pantry. With the trash can. I hope she enjoyed herself, because she's certainly not going to enjoy the shits she'll have tomorrow.

And now my moron cat is doing gymnastics all over the living room.

And now I can't go back to bed, because I'll lay there anticipating either a dog crying to go back outside or Bubzilla crawling into bed with me to burrow on me.


In exciting news, however, I'm enrolling Matthew in pre-kindergarten tomorrow!!! YAAAAAAAAAY for school!!!!